It's the summertime, which means as much fun outdoors as possible (while we still can). And for those who have already kick-flipped every board and surfed every tube possible, here's a rundown of some of the most cutting edge extreme sports you can get involved with So read on, get the adrenaline pumped right up, and grab your helmet (not that one) for some seriously extreme fun.
Bored of using the same old normal-ass boat and paddle on the rapids to get your kicks? Then take it a step further by squeezing into a mini inflatable "bug" with only a pair of flippers and webbed gloves to steer yourself. River Buggers go feet-first and while you'll be tempted to try it all different ways, like you might on a water slide, do the sensible thing and stick to the rules. It's nutty enough as it is.
Most of us still struggle up the hill on a normal bicycle (with gears and everything), but some mentalists are traveling the terrain of actual mountains of just one wheel. The sport, commonly known as "muni", requires incredible balance and core body strength to compete. Not to mention a souped-up unicycle with strong hubs, high-grip pedals and extra-strong tyres. It's not the kind of thing you'd see your run-of-the-mill clown doing. Although that would be amusing.
Not only do you get to stand on a little contraption that shoots out jets of water from beneath your feet - propelling you up to 15 feet in the air - you hold onto a pair of super-powered water pistols to help you change direction (you'll be attached to a boat too, just in case). Imagine parasailing, but like a much more futuristic version - the sort of thing you could imagine James Bond doing in his spare time, if he was a gnarly kind of bro.
Good ol' skateboarding just isn't enough for some adrenaline junkies - they need to take it one step further by hopping on to a thin metal board and surfing all the way down the side of a volcano. Yes, VOLCANO. The big danger is falling off onto the extremely rough volcanic ash on the ground. That, of course, and the bugger actually erupting, covering you in molten lava and leaving behind just a charred skeleton in a helmet and kneepads.
An extreme version of "slack-lining", where someone balances and walks across a length of rope-like material suspended between two points (like tightrope walking but less, erm, tight). While most hippies are content to do it in the park, between some trees at six inches off the ground, the proper daredevils do it 1,000s of feet in the air - between mountains, buildings, or whatever else they can find up there. With no safety net or anything.
Nowadays, facial hair is more than just... well, hair. It's an accessory. An integral part of a man's look, whatever that look may be, of course - and trust us, there's a beard for every kind of look, even the "sitting around in your pants and watching football" look, which we're sure most have you have mastered. In case you're wondering just what to do with your facial hair this summer, take a look at our guide on the hottest styles around and get those clippers on standby.
The Patchwork Guilt
Not all men can grow a proper full beard. It's just one of life's harsh truths. Many are doomed to spend their adult lives with nothing more than patchy bum-fluff - the kind of thing you'd quite rightly be ridiculed for at school. So if you see a man with a little soul patch, Michael Eavis-style hair under the chin, or abstract beardy patterns, it's not because he's chosen to grow it that way for style - it's because he's got no choice. He's making the most of it though.
The Ironic Moustache
Sure, the moustache is a silly old thing to have on your face. It's also a literal measuring stick of proper masculinity. Which is why so many men grow them under the pretence of irony, when in fact they're doing it to look awesome and feel like a real man. The ironic moustache comes in all shapes and sizes - curly, droopy, brush-like, handlebar, and so on. The more ridiculous it looks, the more ironic it's meant to be. But don't believe a word of it. These blokes bloody love their moustaches. You should too.
The Trendy Tramp
It's become the height of hipster fashion to grow a giant beard - the longer and more unkempt the better. Years ago, if you walked into a bar sporting one of these, the normal folks would have muttered amongst themselves and maybe even ejected you from the premises before you started asking for spare change. These days, it's a sign you're one of the cool kids. Unless you're also drinking a can of wicked strength lager and happened to have pissed yourself, in which case you'll probably be thrown out anyway.
With men everywhere going gay for Ryan Gosling, it's no wonder so many have attempted to emulate his impeccable facial hair - a style that's somewhere between rugged stubble and full man-beard. Possessing one of these beauties is a sure sign of manliness (for being able to grown one in the first place) and discipline (for being bothered to actually trim it). Do be careful not get carried away and start telling women that, like Gosling, you can do "the lift" from Dirty Dancing. It'll end in humiliation and back-ache.
The Classic Goatee
Also know as "the c*nt". Because that's what it makes you look like.
Question: What's better than a movie? Answer: A movie with an awesome kick-ass band that you wish was real. After all, everybody wants to be a rock star - even movie stars, who know that deep down they're massive wussies. To celebrate, here's a rundown of the most awesome made-up bands to ever rock out on the silver screen.
Wild Stallyns - Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey
Frontmen Bill S. Preston, Esquire and Ted 'Theodore' Logan are the ultimate in high school rock 'n' roll - thick as pig-shit and crap on the guitar. Fortunately, the Stallyns would travel in time and learn to play, therefore avoiding a cataclysmic event that might destroy the universe. Woah. The saucy medieval dollybirds on the drums and keyboards would get it as well.
While you're busy drooling over Josie and her smokin' hot Pussycats (in a totes ironic way, obvs), you probably missed their boyband rivals Du Jour stealing the mother flippin' show with panty-wetting hits like "Back door Lover". They might look an absolute state, but remember that Du Jour means friendship - there's much more to them than raw sex appeal and voices that most men would kill for.
Long before Steve Buscemi was Nucky Thompson in Boardwalk Empire, Brendan Fraser was George Of The Jungle, or Adam Sandler was Hollywood's most irritating bell-end, they were the Lone Rangers - a rock band so dedicated to their craft they took a radio station hostage just to get their song played on the radio. Which is rather gnarly, as the kids might say.
Much like their line-up - nerdy Scott Pilgrim on bass, raucous-but-cure girl on drums, and generic beardy one on guitar - Sex Bob-omb's sound is an eclectic mishmash. They could have made in big too, if Pilgrim wasn't so distracted with epic computer game-style battles over the affections of Mary Elizabeth Winstead. He'll go absolutely ruddy Hadoken when he finds the rotter that hacked those nudey pictures of her.
In true rock 'n' roll fashion, Loveburger are prone to infighting over artistic difference. So when they perform at their high school graduation party, there's an almighty bust-up over which t-shirts they're wearing, whether or not the drummer should be allowed to wear a cowboy hat, and why it's not appropriate for a white man to dress up like Prince. And while they're arguing over that, the kid from Hook jumps on stage and FUCKING OWNS IT.
Netflix has revealed the first look at its upcoming reboot of cult kids' show Inspector Gadget, and apart from the CG animation makeover the show has received, it's sticking very closely to the classic 80s series.
Like the original show, the new CGI cartoon focuses on Inspector John Gadget, his genius niece Penny, and her unusually intelligent dog, Brain. A cyborg detective with a seemingly endless array of enhancements, Gadget's main weakness is that he is also unfortunately a blithering idiot, with Penny and Brain doing most of the real work in uncovering the nefarious plans of the evil Doctor Claw.
The new series is developed by DHX Media, and picks up after Claw returns from a period of suspended animation in the Antarctic. Gadget is called out of retirement to track down his archnemesis, this time with Penny and Brain now as official secret agents-in-training. One major change is the introduction of Talon, Claw's nephew and a potential love interest for Penny.
The animation for the 26-episode run is actually surprisingly good for TV-budget CGI, and does a nice job of making the character designs work in the new medium. It's also keeping the same sense of humour, with Gadget's long-suffering commissioning officer Chief Quimby being blown (harmlessly) up on a regular basis, and the hero's own equipment regularly backfiring.
The original series was a huge hit in the UK when it first aired, and its popularity ensured repeats were a mainstay on British airwaves for years after. Other follow-ups were previously attempted -- Gadget Boy and Gadget and the Gadgetinis -- but none had the same impact. It'll be interesting to see if this version actually reaches its intended kid audience, or just serves as nostalgia fuel for the 30-somethings who grew up on the '80s run.
Netflix is debuting the new series -- unofficially referred to by fans as Gadget 2.0 -- this Friday, so it won't be long until a new generation gets to wonder why the cybernetic idiot doesn't just listen to his vastly more intelligent niece and her dog for once.
While many are still playing the latest Grand Theft Auto game, thanks mainly to the brand new feature recently released, fans are already speculating to what could be next for the series.
Recent reports have the president of developers Rockstar North, Leslie Benzies, note a couple of the most talked about rumours, suggesting they are much more than just rumours now.
The first thing they need to decide is where to set the next game as Benzies notes that will effect every other decision they make about GTA VI:
"We've got about 45 years worth of ideas we want to do. Where it is going to be set is the first question. Then that defines the missions; you're doing different things in LA than in New York or Miami."
- Leslie Benzies
Forty-five years worth of ideas is a lot, but after the idea of a new GTA London was dismissed at first, it seems the next in the series could be set in the English capital if not Vice City, but more modern day. Considering GTA V was an updated San Andreas, this makes a lot of sense. What is surprising is that Latino Post report the game will be released in 2017, or more realistically 2018.
Other possibilities Rockstar are considering is to actually have the game set in multiple cities. Players would be able to switch between different playable characters that live in completely different locations. Also, one of those characters will see the first female protagonist in the franchise, an idea confirmed by the company's co-founder:
"In the future, could we do a game with a lead female character? Of course. We just haven't found the right game for it yet, but it's one of the things we always think about." -
Should it be London or Vice City? Or somewhere completely new?
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